bentflame

... So I'm not really dying. The doctors came in and told me that it was a false alarm this morning, and when Lisa woke up again, she didn't even remember what had happened. She seemed to think that I was in the hospital because I'd had a particularly nasty relapse of my fever from earlier in the month, and others corroborated her story.

The community did this, didn't it. Again.

[OOC: ROSE YOU ARE FREE TO SAY LILITH'S STILL THERE IF SHE WOULD HAVE STAYED WITH HER o7]

I don't think it's working.

I don't think it's going to work.

Anytime I try to sleep I just have these dreams. Torn-off heads. Dungeons. Father. Even normal things-- like beaches; the hot springs at Ember Island or learning to swim in the ocean-- they're all turning into nightmares.

I want to call Lilith. I want to call Lisa at work. I want to go train for five hours straight until my skin is on fire and my muscles are burning with pain.

This'll probably be visible. I locked it, but it probably won't work, and the world will know how pathetic I am. Not crazy. Just pathetic. They'll avoid me, which I won't mind until the next time I get lonely; they'll think I'm weird and creepy, which I will mind, because that's not what perfect warriors are like. I can't sleep.

My country is dying and I can't go help it because apparently I'm not strong enough-- I know I wouldn't be able to wrestle it away from Zuko and the rest of the traitors with the way I am now and knowing that only makes it worse.





Soon, this'll go away and I'll be able to rest again, and I'll be able to trick myself into thinking that I'm close to being back to my old self. And then it'll repeat itself. Again. And again. And again. No end in sight.

It's no wonder people say they'd just let me drown. Father would do the same thing.

I'm disowning everyone because they're stupid and horrible and confusing and I HATE THEM and I HOPE THEY DIE.

And that goes for all of you. Everyone on every world. Go away from me.

[ooc: related to this little bit of Azula trying to identify with someone and FAILING MISERABLY because... well, she's Azula]

I wasn't at home for my birthday last year, either.

When the little boy masquerading as Fire Lord is defeated, the uprising that takes him down will rip off his mother's head before his eyes.

And I'll laugh.

I have an extremely hypothetical question concerning complete idiots who may or may not be attractive and engaged.

I'm going on vacation.

Does anyone want to come?

[...]

Who put flowers in my room?

[She's still in the same empty, alternate-universe room as before]

... You've all gone insane.