![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
{FAILED LOCK TO CATERINA}
Feb. 10th, 2011 09:22 pmI need to go back to Earth for a few days. Lisa's mother is in the hospital, and it's potentially very serious.
I'll be contactable if I'm needed.
I'll be contactable if I'm needed.
(no subject)
Nov. 21st, 2010 01:39 pm... Is it a virus?
[ooc: Worst Fear Virus here-- she will likely talk about beheadings, so comment at your own risk if you don't want to deal with that]
[ooc: Worst Fear Virus here-- she will likely talk about beheadings, so comment at your own risk if you don't want to deal with that]
(no subject)
Nov. 16th, 2010 05:25 pmI'm still having less nightmares, but not yet none at all. They're still there, in the background, trying to get through. Last night I slept in my bed in the other room and accidentally left the sleep satchel in Lisa's bed, and they were back in full force.
Maybe they're never going to go away.
Maybe they're never going to go away.
{FAILED LOCK}
Nov. 5th, 2010 01:57 pmI don't think it's working.
I don't think it's going to work.
Anytime I try to sleep I just have these dreams. Torn-off heads. Dungeons. Father. Even normal things-- like beaches; the hot springs at Ember Island or learning to swim in the ocean-- they're all turning into nightmares.
I want to call Lilith. I want to call Lisa at work. I want to go train for five hours straight until my skin is on fire and my muscles are burning with pain.
This'll probably be visible. I locked it, but it probably won't work, and the world will know how pathetic I am. Not crazy. Just pathetic. They'll avoid me, which I won't mind until the next time I get lonely; they'll think I'm weird and creepy, which I will mind, because that's not what perfect warriors are like. I can't sleep.
My country is dying and I can't go help it because apparently I'm not strong enough-- I know I wouldn't be able to wrestle it away from Zuko and the rest of the traitors with the way I am now and knowing that only makes it worse.
Soon, this'll go away and I'll be able to rest again, and I'll be able to trick myself into thinking that I'm close to being back to my old self. And then it'll repeat itself. Again. And again. And again. No end in sight.
It's no wonder people say they'd just let me drown. Father would do the same thing.
I don't think it's going to work.
Anytime I try to sleep I just have these dreams. Torn-off heads. Dungeons. Father. Even normal things-- like beaches; the hot springs at Ember Island or learning to swim in the ocean-- they're all turning into nightmares.
I want to call Lilith. I want to call Lisa at work. I want to go train for five hours straight until my skin is on fire and my muscles are burning with pain.
This'll probably be visible. I locked it, but it probably won't work, and the world will know how pathetic I am. Not crazy. Just pathetic. They'll avoid me, which I won't mind until the next time I get lonely; they'll think I'm weird and creepy, which I will mind, because that's not what perfect warriors are like. I can't sleep.
My country is dying and I can't go help it because apparently I'm not strong enough-- I know I wouldn't be able to wrestle it away from Zuko and the rest of the traitors with the way I am now and knowing that only makes it worse.
Soon, this'll go away and I'll be able to rest again, and I'll be able to trick myself into thinking that I'm close to being back to my old self. And then it'll repeat itself. Again. And again. And again. No end in sight.
It's no wonder people say they'd just let me drown. Father would do the same thing.
