bentflame

I did it. I succeeded in my mission. I don't care that I'm stuck in bed, or with a cast on my leg. It'll heal eventually, as it always does.

This is the best mood I've been in for some time, and I don't think anyone could knock me out of it if they tried. I have a feeling I'll end up bored and in need of something to do, so I suppose I'll take suggestions-- but for now, at least, even lying around doesn't feel dull.

[...]

What's the best way to cut through strong metal without damaging it? I gave away some of my old armor a while ago, but apparently it needs wing holes now, and I'd hate to see it ruined. I'm rather attached to it.

( {LOCKED TO LILITH} )

... Are all the trolls the same age? One told me that they had "reached their fifth wiggling day", whatever that means, and that that meant that they were between nine and twelve in human years.






I didn't just spend three days dating a nine-year-old, did I?

I'm not surprised. It's been months since we've had a virus; one was going to crop up sooner or later.

At least I'm not affected, so my training won't be delayed.

[Azula's sitting in a chair, wrapped in a blanket-- it's thunderstorming outside; her favorite weather]

I think I might go to this Christmas party. I've been to them in past years and they've been all right. It's easy enough to avoid annoying people.

Lilith, you should come too.

[she shifts a little, looking out the window]

... I hope this storm lasts a long time.

I don't think it's working.

I don't think it's going to work.

Anytime I try to sleep I just have these dreams. Torn-off heads. Dungeons. Father. Even normal things-- like beaches; the hot springs at Ember Island or learning to swim in the ocean-- they're all turning into nightmares.

I want to call Lilith. I want to call Lisa at work. I want to go train for five hours straight until my skin is on fire and my muscles are burning with pain.

This'll probably be visible. I locked it, but it probably won't work, and the world will know how pathetic I am. Not crazy. Just pathetic. They'll avoid me, which I won't mind until the next time I get lonely; they'll think I'm weird and creepy, which I will mind, because that's not what perfect warriors are like. I can't sleep.

My country is dying and I can't go help it because apparently I'm not strong enough-- I know I wouldn't be able to wrestle it away from Zuko and the rest of the traitors with the way I am now and knowing that only makes it worse.





Soon, this'll go away and I'll be able to rest again, and I'll be able to trick myself into thinking that I'm close to being back to my old self. And then it'll repeat itself. Again. And again. And again. No end in sight.

It's no wonder people say they'd just let me drown. Father would do the same thing.

I'm disowning everyone because they're stupid and horrible and confusing and I HATE THEM and I HOPE THEY DIE.

And that goes for all of you. Everyone on every world. Go away from me.

[ooc: related to this little bit of Azula trying to identify with someone and FAILING MISERABLY because... well, she's Azula]

Being seventeen doesn't feel any different.

... If I said I'd do something with you today and then I didn't show up, I suppose we can arrange something in its place.

I need something to make bruises and cuts heal or disappear quickly. Magic, advanced medical technology-- I don't care. I just need it as soon as possible.

( {LOCKED TO LILITH} )