bentflame | (no subject)

Current Mood: pensive
Current Location: The Fire Nation capital

Entry tags:

(no subject)

{LOL LOCKFAIL} She loves me.

...

...

Hm.

I will have to consider this idea a bit more, it seems. It's difficult too... expel from my thoughts at times. Thankfully it hasn't distracted me from my duties, but occasionally during my downtime it'll just... "hit me", I suppose one would say. It's always quite unexpected, though not entirely... unpleasant. It's a... well. It's a nice thought, really.

One thing that I unfortunately am having a bit of trouble with is remembering that it all could dissipate at any moment, without any warning. The first time I was unprepared, which was a mistake- it caused me to react in a very embarrassing and wholly unacceptable manner. I had made similar slip-ups in the past, but none of that magnitude- and I am quite unhappy that it went that far before I fully realized what I was doing. Have I really grown so... hm.

... Despite this, I truly do care for her. Love her. Very much. It's almost... more emotion than I know what to do with, really; certainly much more than I am used to experiencing. But I must learn to keep the weakness- the additional weakness; the "weird" sort of weakness- out of the picture. {/LOL LOCKFAIL}

I will be turning fifteen not so long from now. Originally, my goal was to have the Avatar captured and destroyed by my birthday, but that was before we made plans to wait for the comet to arrive before launching a full-scale attack. Ideally I would have liked to be crowned Fire Lord beforehand, as well, but I am willing to wait just a little bit longer.

I have never really understood the purpose of birthdays- that is, making such a big deal out of them. I will be of marrying age at sixteen, so doubtless Father is going to start spending quite a bit more time this year searching for a suitable match for me. I can only hope that he'll leave me out of it as much as possible; the entire process bores me.

Additionally- for anyone who may have business with me to attend to, I will most likely be spending much of tomorrow at the royal hot springs, and will therefore be unreachable.

OOC: That last note is my way of saying that I'm moving into my dorm tomorrow and probably won't have time to obsessively check my email the way I normally do. ;)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You are enjoying this, aren't you?

...I'm sorry.

Azula, I'm glad about this. Finally admitting it is nice to see. It means you're human, even if not humane.

Do you have a point? Besides the unwarranted patronization, I mean?

...It's not being patronizing, Azula. This is a good part of you, Princess. You shouldn't hide it so much.

Silence.

Only when a ruler knows how to care for others, do they become worthy of rule.

I am not in the mood for your idiocy.

I'm only speaking the truth, why do you take it as insult? Trust me, it's a much cuter trait for women to have than coldness.

Are you under the impression that I want to be "cute"?

I've never met a girl who thought it was a negative.

Pathetic.

Why? You'd rather be ugly, inside and out? A cold block of ice with no friends, no love, no connections, no family. All these things are interconnected, Azula. Emotions are what complete a human being.

That would be ideal, yes. ~~I don't know if it's every going to happen completely.~~

It's impossible to be a stone, Azula. Think about it, you can't have it both ways. If you were bereft of emtion, you wouldn't even ENJOY anything. Life would lose all color and beauty. All satisfaction. You'd be nothing more than a lower animal.

I can rid myself of the weaker emotions without ridding myself of them all.

No, you can't. People have to be born in such a way, soulless. You can't deaden a soul, and if you try it will eventually lash back at you.

I was born souless.

No, Azula. You weren't. Whoever told you such a thing was wrong.

I am never wrong.

That is also not true. You wish that you were, though. Given your father, I can understand that.

What does Father have to do with anything?

You're not the only one in the database.

Your point?

I'm saying that he's a cold bastard, just as his father was. Then he tried to instill that in his children.

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2

Re: 2/2