{VIDEO POST}

[bentflame]

[Azula's sitting out on the hotel suite's balcony, enjoying the night air and looking contemplative]

[she's fingering a necklace-- a simple gold chain-- that some might recognize as one that she always wears under her clothing, and in her hand is a hand-held tape recorder]

[she presses the "play" button, and her own tinny-sounding voice comes out of the little speakers:]

Say something.

hotpinkaura follows:]

"Okay... hi, little machine thing. ... Okay, that just sounded stupid. Is that enough, Azula?"

[Azula rewinds; she plays the recording a few more times before setting the device down and staring off into the night]

Comments

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

... Actually, I've only said that once. In any case it helps if you actually remind me when I'm slipping back into it. It's hard to stop when I don't realize I'm doing it.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You've said it a couple times.

... Does it really help?

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

It at least lets me try to improve. Which is more than I can do if I don't realize I'm doing it again.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Why are you so unaware of your own actions?

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

It's enough of a habit at this point that I have to be actively thinking about it to stop it. And I don't know about you, but most people don't actively think about their thoughts - I mean, about the fact that their thoughts are running a particular direction.

You're usually so... controlled. I guess I envy that a little.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

... Yes. I am. I'm strong.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

I know. I guess I must have lost more than just physical strength when I was... cured.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

So you admit that you've changed for the worse.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

I don't know about "worse". You didn't know me very well when I was still a chimera. But I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten that much better.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You always talk about how you didn't open up or admit weaknesses back then.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

I did mention that to most people not opening up, even really to one's friends, is considered a bad thing, right?

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

But it's not. That was my point.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

That depends on the situation. Both extremes are bad.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

... Like telling someone everything?

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Right. Or shutting oneself off completely. Honestly, both are kind of stupid.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I tell Lisa most things and I'm not stupid.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

One, most isn't everything, and two, Lisa's someone you know you can trust. It's different.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Hm.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Opening up completely to someone you don't know you can trust is stupid. So is shutting yourself off from people you should be able to trust. But shutting off entirely from someone you have no reason not to trust isn't the greatest idea in the world either - and I'm rationalizing again.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't tell Lisa everything because there are some things that would hurt her.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, that at least makes sense. There are things I don't tell people either, though probably fewer than there should be.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You probably have too many friends, anyway. Almost everyone does.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

I probably have too many friends for you, anyway.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

What's that supposed to mean?

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

It means I have more friends than you'd be comfortable having. I have what would be too many friends for you, not what are too many friends for me.