{VIDEO POST}

[bentflame]

[Azula's sitting out on the hotel suite's balcony, enjoying the night air and looking contemplative]

[she's fingering a necklace-- a simple gold chain-- that some might recognize as one that she always wears under her clothing, and in her hand is a hand-held tape recorder]

[she presses the "play" button, and her own tinny-sounding voice comes out of the little speakers:]

Say something.

hotpinkaura follows:]

"Okay... hi, little machine thing. ... Okay, that just sounded stupid. Is that enough, Azula?"

[Azula rewinds; she plays the recording a few more times before setting the device down and staring off into the night]

Comments

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

I don't know about "worse". You didn't know me very well when I was still a chimera. But I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten that much better.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You always talk about how you didn't open up or admit weaknesses back then.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

I did mention that to most people not opening up, even really to one's friends, is considered a bad thing, right?

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

But it's not. That was my point.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

That depends on the situation. Both extremes are bad.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

... Like telling someone everything?

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Right. Or shutting oneself off completely. Honestly, both are kind of stupid.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I tell Lisa most things and I'm not stupid.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

One, most isn't everything, and two, Lisa's someone you know you can trust. It's different.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Hm.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Opening up completely to someone you don't know you can trust is stupid. So is shutting yourself off from people you should be able to trust. But shutting off entirely from someone you have no reason not to trust isn't the greatest idea in the world either - and I'm rationalizing again.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't tell Lisa everything because there are some things that would hurt her.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, that at least makes sense. There are things I don't tell people either, though probably fewer than there should be.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You probably have too many friends, anyway. Almost everyone does.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

I probably have too many friends for you, anyway.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

What's that supposed to mean?

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

It means I have more friends than you'd be comfortable having. I have what would be too many friends for you, not what are too many friends for me.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

It has nothing to do with being comfortable. I'm not scared to have too many friends, it's just that it's a waste of time.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Except that how many friends you have or want to have tends to be more an emotional thing. It's kind of hard to choose whether someone becomes a friend or not.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I certainly can choose my friends. Even if someone likes me, I don't have to like them back.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

... Okay, I think I see why we're not making sense to each other. It's hard to explain, especially to someone as guarded with their emotions as you are, because for me at least it's not easy to even think about intellectually, much less articulate.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

It's clear what you mean. You think I can't control my own thoughts about people.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

No, I'm saying that maybe you can, but I can't, which is why I seem to be having trouble explaining what I mean.

Though honestly I've never really been as in control of my emotions as I pretended. If I did I'd probably still be a chimera.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You don't consider me a friend, do you?

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Not... quite, no. Probably closer to one than you'd like me to admit.

[Locked, because he has a feeling she wouldn't really like this coming out]
... I still remember your Shadow saying that you liked me, even if you didn't care about me. Though I've probably screwed that right up by now.