{FORWARD-DATED TO TOMORROW}

[bentflame]

I don't know why these persistent posts about families and parents annoy me so much. It's not like I'm jealous. Or maybe I am; I wouldn't know. I don't tend to self-analyze-- it's pointless. So few people realize that when you start to feel something stupid or messy, the best thing to do is to just ignore it, especially if it's about something that can't be changed or helped. I can really only think of one example of when paying attention to "feelings" has paid off, but we're not going to talk about that. It's been rehashed far too much here; I think it's time to discuss something new.

I could just go back to the Fire Nation. I don't know why I haven't yet. I say it's because I want to be careful and cautious, but really, I have no doubt that I could escape again if he is just trying to trick me-- which he isn't. And everything was going perfectly during my first week as Fire Lord; it was only after I found out he had turned against me that it started to go bad. If he does turn back again, I'm going to be very mad at myself for wasting this time I could have had.

I'll go back if I get kicked out. Though really, I've been considering leaving before that can happen; that'll make things less complicated. I was irritated when Kaito temporarily lost his memories of this place, and I don't even like Kaito. It's ridiculous (not to mention embarrassing) how much of an aversion I have to being left alone and abandoned. It's something that I really need to get over-- preferably sooner rather than later, because you don't just let random people stay in your house for undetermined periods of time. Sooner or later she'll be looking for an excuse to get rid of me, if she isn't already-- even though I stocked her cabinets with excellent Fire Nation tea. What would you call that, a bribe? I don't know.

At least I have Father; that's really all that matters. Who cares if he probably only supports me because he's been brainwashed? I certainly don't. It's the end that matters, not the means.

I'm very good at convincing myself of things. It's one of my many strengths.

OOC: There's a chance I'll be wicked busy tomorrow, and I wanted to have at least one post for this virus, so. DX

Comments

[clockmaster.livejournal.com]

Aren't you talkative today...

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I've been purposely not thinking about my father lately, but for some reason I feel like talking about him today.

He told me he was proud of me yesterday, and I know he meant it.

[clockmaster.livejournal.com]

I see.

But you said that he's brainwashed, how can he mean it?

[ooc: Hakuba is confused :|]

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Semantics. He was brainwashed into meaning it.

[pandorabox]

...

You were irritated when I lost my memories because you have an aversion of being left alone and abandoned?

2/2 Surprise follow up >>

[pandorabox]

Why Azu-baka, I knew you cared!

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't. You see, this is why I never tell people when I like them (and I don't like you, by the way)-- they mistakenly think it means that I care about them.

It's the same with looks. None of you can differentiate between thinking someone is attractive, and being attracted to them.

... he's virus'd too, btw

[pandorabox]

I know you don't care. I just say things like that becuase it irritates you. And for some reason, irritating you makes me feel better.

I do that for a lot of people, actually! I press buttons to get reactions. I don't know why I do that, but making people react by teasing and pranking them is something I enjoy.

since this is forward-dated, have her with the virus, too!

[vanessa19white.livejournal.com]

There's nothing wrong with having an aversion to being left alone or abandoned. I understand that.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not something that's supposed to matter to me. I don't care about people, so why should I care when they leave me?

Like I said, it's something I'm working on.

Audio - Virus'd

[knifeurrib.livejournal.com]

You actually scare me a lot more then I let on. Which is stupid, because I shouldn't let the world affect me this much - nothing else really matters to me, I guess. For most of my life it's been you, Ty Lee, and Zuko. And my parents, but they only ever wanted me to be the perfect child (even if they do love me) and that... well, that just made thigns harder for me.

Sometimes I wonder if we're actually still friends or if it would've been better to not actually... I don't know. I'm not sure how to talk about this. I've never been good at expressing feelings. Usually I just bottle them up... not sure why I'm so talkative today, anyway.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't scare you enough to keep you, apparently. And goodness knows that you don't like me enough to stay. Even though you claim that you can be both my friend and Zuko's girlfriend, I don't really believe you. And I know you'd let him take you away, too.

I resent you. I don't want to care about you, even a little bit.

[knifeurrib.livejournal.com]

I could get into an argument with you about what I really care about and whether or not you're right, but we'd just end up arguing in circles, like we always do.

So, you do care about me?

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Yes. Ty Lee has always been my favorite, in most ways-- that's probably been obvious since we were kids-- but I care about you, too.

I don't know if I want you to fear me-- especially now that we're not really fighting together anymore, and my success doesn't rely on whether or not you obey me. When you just now said that you did a part of me was satisfied (I suppose that was the part that resents you), but I was also a little hurt.

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

It happens.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

What does, exactly?

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

The need to convince ones self even if it is contradictory to the norm.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I can convince myself of anything. If I need to, I can change my entire worldview because it's convenient for me.

[fierysire.livejournal.com]

The end is what matters, not the end.

I'm assuming you meant "not the means"? XD

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

...d'oh yes that's what I meant :|

[fierysire.livejournal.com]

Everything is working out fine.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Just stay away from the Dai Li. I like it when you support and are proud of me; I don't want you to change back.

virus'd

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

You scare me; but I do like you. It's just--when you get mad, I don't know if you're going to do something. I know you say that you won't and get grumpy when I say that but I still think it.

I guess that's why I like you so much. You can dominate people like that and people don't take me seriously enough to have that kind of effect. It's just--I don't know how to put it. I don't care for you just because of your power, your money, or even your looks. It's the way you handle people.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't want you to fear me. And you're too self-centered. You didn't always used to be like that; it's a recent thing.

... Do you like me for any other reasons, or do you just make the rest up so that you can keep me around as your bodyguard? Sometimes it seems like that's what you do.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

I don't know what you want me to do. I can't just focus on all the horrible things in your life. It's bad energy. I have to keep myself good-natured. I can't just do what you do and sulk half the time. I'm Ty Lee, that's not my way.

I don't want you to be alone.