{FORWARD-DATED TO TOMORROW}

[bentflame]

I don't know why these persistent posts about families and parents annoy me so much. It's not like I'm jealous. Or maybe I am; I wouldn't know. I don't tend to self-analyze-- it's pointless. So few people realize that when you start to feel something stupid or messy, the best thing to do is to just ignore it, especially if it's about something that can't be changed or helped. I can really only think of one example of when paying attention to "feelings" has paid off, but we're not going to talk about that. It's been rehashed far too much here; I think it's time to discuss something new.

I could just go back to the Fire Nation. I don't know why I haven't yet. I say it's because I want to be careful and cautious, but really, I have no doubt that I could escape again if he is just trying to trick me-- which he isn't. And everything was going perfectly during my first week as Fire Lord; it was only after I found out he had turned against me that it started to go bad. If he does turn back again, I'm going to be very mad at myself for wasting this time I could have had.

I'll go back if I get kicked out. Though really, I've been considering leaving before that can happen; that'll make things less complicated. I was irritated when Kaito temporarily lost his memories of this place, and I don't even like Kaito. It's ridiculous (not to mention embarrassing) how much of an aversion I have to being left alone and abandoned. It's something that I really need to get over-- preferably sooner rather than later, because you don't just let random people stay in your house for undetermined periods of time. Sooner or later she'll be looking for an excuse to get rid of me, if she isn't already-- even though I stocked her cabinets with excellent Fire Nation tea. What would you call that, a bribe? I don't know.

At least I have Father; that's really all that matters. Who cares if he probably only supports me because he's been brainwashed? I certainly don't. It's the end that matters, not the means.

I'm very good at convincing myself of things. It's one of my many strengths.

OOC: There's a chance I'll be wicked busy tomorrow, and I wanted to have at least one post for this virus, so. DX

Comments

virus'd

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

You scare me; but I do like you. It's just--when you get mad, I don't know if you're going to do something. I know you say that you won't and get grumpy when I say that but I still think it.

I guess that's why I like you so much. You can dominate people like that and people don't take me seriously enough to have that kind of effect. It's just--I don't know how to put it. I don't care for you just because of your power, your money, or even your looks. It's the way you handle people.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't want you to fear me. And you're too self-centered. You didn't always used to be like that; it's a recent thing.

... Do you like me for any other reasons, or do you just make the rest up so that you can keep me around as your bodyguard? Sometimes it seems like that's what you do.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

I don't know what you want me to do. I can't just focus on all the horrible things in your life. It's bad energy. I have to keep myself good-natured. I can't just do what you do and sulk half the time. I'm Ty Lee, that's not my way.

I don't want you to be alone.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

It's not sulking. You don't understand; the worst thing you've ever had to deal with was people confusing you with your sisters.

... I don't think I do, either.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

You don't understand. Everyone knew who you were. You didn't have to do anything to prove that to them. They may not like you or agree with you but they know who you are. Me? I had to fight everything my older sisters laid down; I made my own way. I had to prove and I still am. You care about honor and wealth and all that but me? I care about individuality.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Your parents don't want you dead. You don't have to stand by and watch as your father wins your war for you, because all your soldiers decided that they liked him better.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

Bad attention is still attention, Azula.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't want it.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

At least your dad knows which one you are.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You're an idiot.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

And yet if I leave you would get depressed.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

"Depressed". I'm the Fire Lord. I can't get depressed. I can't get a lot of things.

You were worried about me before. You were extremely worried; you tried to force me to come to your friend's house, and she hates me. I'm not going to believe that you don't care about me; that you don't love me.

I don't like what happens when I do.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

I never said that I don't care about you; I love you.

You're just--you don't understand things. You aren't like everyone else.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You don't understand anything.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

What do you want me to say? To do? I'm not just some pet; I can't just curl up by you and not think about my opinions.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't want you to c--

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

Don't want me to what.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You should know, you're the one who said it.

But I do want you to be here. I do miss you right now. And don't think that I don't HATE that fact.

[hotpinkaura.livejournal.com]

Because you hate to miss anyone.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I hate to need anyone.