bentflame | (no subject)

Current Mood: pensive
Current Location: The Fire Nation capital

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(no subject)

{LOL LOCKFAIL} She loves me.

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Hm.

I will have to consider this idea a bit more, it seems. It's difficult too... expel from my thoughts at times. Thankfully it hasn't distracted me from my duties, but occasionally during my downtime it'll just... "hit me", I suppose one would say. It's always quite unexpected, though not entirely... unpleasant. It's a... well. It's a nice thought, really.

One thing that I unfortunately am having a bit of trouble with is remembering that it all could dissipate at any moment, without any warning. The first time I was unprepared, which was a mistake- it caused me to react in a very embarrassing and wholly unacceptable manner. I had made similar slip-ups in the past, but none of that magnitude- and I am quite unhappy that it went that far before I fully realized what I was doing. Have I really grown so... hm.

... Despite this, I truly do care for her. Love her. Very much. It's almost... more emotion than I know what to do with, really; certainly much more than I am used to experiencing. But I must learn to keep the weakness- the additional weakness; the "weird" sort of weakness- out of the picture. {/LOL LOCKFAIL}

I will be turning fifteen not so long from now. Originally, my goal was to have the Avatar captured and destroyed by my birthday, but that was before we made plans to wait for the comet to arrive before launching a full-scale attack. Ideally I would have liked to be crowned Fire Lord beforehand, as well, but I am willing to wait just a little bit longer.

I have never really understood the purpose of birthdays- that is, making such a big deal out of them. I will be of marrying age at sixteen, so doubtless Father is going to start spending quite a bit more time this year searching for a suitable match for me. I can only hope that he'll leave me out of it as much as possible; the entire process bores me.

Additionally- for anyone who may have business with me to attend to, I will most likely be spending much of tomorrow at the royal hot springs, and will therefore be unreachable.

OOC: That last note is my way of saying that I'm moving into my dorm tomorrow and probably won't have time to obsessively check my email the way I normally do. ;)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe, I guess. That makes sense...

Hm.

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Look, Ty Lee, about... hm. That wasn't meant to be visible. It was just... foolish ramblings- inconsequential, really, (especiallythatfirstbit)- and my intention wasn't to make you, ah... uncomfortable.

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Azula, I get it.

What is it that you get?

What you were trying to say...which was that you love me.

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As I said, I was not attempting to make you feel uncomfortable.

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It's okay, honestly. I'm fine with it.

Why on earth would you be?

Because...why would I be uncomfortable?

... Look, Ty Lee, I know you always like having boyfriends around, and recently you attempted to find one and it didn't work out- so this "girlfriend" thing... you... hm. You like the title, don't you? Of being someone's "girlfriend".

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Because it was a bit of a "weird" thing to say. That's why.

Well...it makes it official, it's a good title...

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Well, if you thought it was private..it wasn't.

Exactly. It's a title.
You're... good at this sort of thing. Staying, leaving; loving, not loving... it... comes and goes, for you. It's all very... I don't know.
It's ironic, really. I'm supposed to be the one who cares less about things. I normally am.

... I realize that. And really, it's not as if privacy would have made something like this any more acceptable, but...

I still don't understand why it didn't make you uncomfortable. This sort of thing...

... I've got to know my options, Azula. I can't just...stay the same. I just don't work like that.

....

Azula, I'm fine. It's okay. Those jerks make it not ookay but it's fine.

You could change your mind and leave, at any moment. You did before. You'll do it again.

No. No, it really isn't. This is the sort of thing I'm talking about; the sort of thing that propelled you to want to cut me off before.

....

No. Azula...I'm here, that's what matters.

You won't always be here. It'll just be worse then. Ty Lee... ~~you don't know what that did, because it doesn't matter to you.~~

...it mattered, Azula. It did. Just...trust me, please.

... I tried. It didn't quite work out.

...I know. But...sometimes you've got to try things again.

I rarely make mistakes- and I never make the same mistake twice. ~~... Not realizing the full extent of my weakness those... certain times doesn't count.~~

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I'm sorry. For that.

....you can trust me, really.

... No, I don't think you intended to do it. But that just means that you won't be able to see it coming next time, either.

You... you're... upset.

...I'm sorry.

... My intention wasn't to make you cry. I...

Ty Lee.

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