bentflame | (no subject)

{LOL LOCKFAIL} She loves me.

...

...

Hm.

I will have to consider this idea a bit more, it seems. It's difficult too... expel from my thoughts at times. Thankfully it hasn't distracted me from my duties, but occasionally during my downtime it'll just... "hit me", I suppose one would say. It's always quite unexpected, though not entirely... unpleasant. It's a... well. It's a nice thought, really.

One thing that I unfortunately am having a bit of trouble with is remembering that it all could dissipate at any moment, without any warning. The first time I was unprepared, which was a mistake- it caused me to react in a very embarrassing and wholly unacceptable manner. I had made similar slip-ups in the past, but none of that magnitude- and I am quite unhappy that it went that far before I fully realized what I was doing. Have I really grown so... hm.

... Despite this, I truly do care for her. Love her. Very much. It's almost... more emotion than I know what to do with, really; certainly much more than I am used to experiencing. But I must learn to keep the weakness- the additional weakness; the "weird" sort of weakness- out of the picture. {/LOL LOCKFAIL}

I will be turning fifteen not so long from now. Originally, my goal was to have the Avatar captured and destroyed by my birthday, but that was before we made plans to wait for the comet to arrive before launching a full-scale attack. Ideally I would have liked to be crowned Fire Lord beforehand, as well, but I am willing to wait just a little bit longer.

I have never really understood the purpose of birthdays- that is, making such a big deal out of them. I will be of marrying age at sixteen, so doubtless Father is going to start spending quite a bit more time this year searching for a suitable match for me. I can only hope that he'll leave me out of it as much as possible; the entire process bores me.

Additionally- for anyone who may have business with me to attend to, I will most likely be spending much of tomorrow at the royal hot springs, and will therefore be unreachable.

OOC: That last note is my way of saying that I'm moving into my dorm tomorrow and probably won't have time to obsessively check my email the way I normally do. ;)

... No, I don't think you intended to do it. But that just means that you won't be able to see it coming next time, either.

You... you're... upset.

Look, you don't-

You don't need to-

It's-

... ~~What am I supposed to say?~~

... I was going to say that you don't need to cry, but I'm not sure if that's the appropriate response to this situation. If you were here, I could-

... I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to say to make you feel better. That's all.

~~... You should come here.~~

...

Why do you care if I trust you, Ty Lee? Why does it matter? How would it affect you?

Because you matter to me...

...

I can come over. After you get back from the hotsprings.

...

...

I don't-

...

I don't understand.

~~... You could come over before I left.~~

...

You matter.

...

You probably don't want to see me right now.

I understood the words, just not... I don't know.

~~... I want to see you.~~

I don't think that's going to happen again, Ty Lee. ~~... Unfortunately.~~

...

... Yes.

...It could. I mean, how would I know?

...

Alright, Azula. I'll come over.

((And we'll just assume the visit, that okay?))

It didn't work out the way I had planned the first time. The memories returned- even if it was just a chance occurrence- most likely having to do with being shot- and I see no point in trying to re-erase them if something similar could happen again.

Look, Ty Lee...

Things are... hm, that is to say, we're...

...

Things are all right, correct?