bentflame | {RL WITH ZUKO AND LILITH} forward-dated to the Timewarp Virus

[Zuko feels like there's something caught in his throat. He can't know exactly how she feels, but he's lost enough people in his life to know how impossible the situation is.]

I'm sorry, [he says, voice low.]

It isn't anyone's fault but, my own. [She sounds remorseful.] If I hadn't been so greedy, 01 and Cain would be long dead by now.

You're not greedy. There's nothing wrong with you. I understand how you feel, and you're allowed to be upset, and--

[she pauses for a moment; the last thing she wants to do is start crying herself]

You don't have to hide.

We all make mistakes, Lilith. All we can do is go forward.

That is true. Seth and I must both move forward despite how we feel. We're the only ones left to protect this world.

I cannot hide even if I wished to do so. Not until... [She sighs deeply; Seth would surely be the next target. She can no longer let her feelings for Cain stop her.] I kill him.

Don't think about that right now. When the times comes I'll help you, but right now...

... Don't think about it.

[Although they hadn't actually killed his father, Zuko had been anticipating it for so long that having him locked away, and pretending that he was dead, made it feel like they had killed him. Again, he had a sense of how terrible it felt to know you had to destroy your own family. He barely heard what Azula said.]

...You can't escape what you have to do. [His hands have curled into fists by his side, white-knuckled, without him noticing.] But you can still feel what you feel about it. It doesn't make you weak, and it won't stop you. [He'd come to believe that strongly.]

I cannot ignore this Azula. Each of us have already lived for far longer than we should have.

[For once she truly regrets it. If they had led normal lives none of this would have happened.]

The world has become dependent on Seth's existence. Should he kill her next there's a great possibility that will be the end of what's left of our world. Only Abel, Cain, and I are free to die without causing incident.

Lilith, please.

She has to do this, Azula, [he says more sharply.] I know you understand duty.

It's as Zuko says. I say this now because there is a great chance that I may join Abel.

You both need to prepare for that possibility.

No. No, Lilith,I won't let you. Later I'm going to help and we're going to find a way to get 01 out, but now you need to rest and stop... thinking these things. Just rest. You can be upset; I won't tell anyone.

But you can't go. No matter how sad you are.

Join-- Azula might be wrong, but you can't die! [he exclaims, arm gesturing to enunciate his point.]

It's not saving anyone if you aren't there to be with them afterward!

[Whatever hopes she had for a happy ending had died with Abel. Lilith had set her sights on the worst case scenarios now.]

Without Abel what little control we had over the situation is gone now. I don't want you to be taken off guard later.

[Azula wants to yell at Zuko for yelling at Lilith, but she restrains herself, instead shifting around to position herself more between the other two]

No. It's going to be fine. Don't listen to him yelling, don't think about--

[she pauses for a moment to try to collect her words]

You told me before that you would be all right, no matter what happened. You might be sad enough to want to give up and sacrifice yourself now, but-- but you won't be forever. I believed you when you said that, and I still believe you. You survived Cain dyi-- you survived what happened to Cain, and you can survive this.

Just close your eyes right now. You're not fighting right now, and you don't have to think about it. You have to rest first.

[He doesn't have anything to add to that. Zuko doesn't agree completely, but her emotion is undeniable, and he matches it. His hands are clenched tightly; there's no doubt from his expression that he feels as strongly as Azula about Lilith surviving.]

[Lilith is quiet as she absorbs the message. That rosary in her hands feels even heavier. What Azula says brings to light some truths that had been slipping from her sight since this happened. The last time she left ended the war. Unfortunately it left everyone surviving to fend for themselves which didn't work out too well.]

... You are both right. I apologize. Saying things lie that in front of you is inexcusable.

Exactly. You survived it with Cain so you know you're capable. It's not fair that you have to do it again, but you can.

[Azula's stroking her hair, hoping that she's saying the right things]

Just close your eyes for now. Please. You can think about all this tomorrow.

[Zuko feels unnecessary, extraneous, like there's no reason for him to be here. But he's never let that feeling stop him from doing what he felt he had to., so he says quietly,] You can have one night just to think about him.

And then we'll help you with tomorrow. Whatever you need.

[Lilith nods. For the first time in her life, she feels like a child. It was strange considering the fact she never had a childhood. She shuts her eyes just as Azula requested and lets out a shuddering sigh. It wouldn't be fair for her to lean on them. She wanted to be the one they could lean on no matter what. And yet she was crying again without even realizing it.]

Tomorrow would be best to think things through. Thank you for your help. You're both so good. I feel so fortunate to have you.

[Azula continues stroking her fingers through Lilith's hair, every once in a while brushing her fingertips across her cheek, wiping away the tears]

Don't even think about him. Think about things that make you...

[she trails off]

Edited 2011-01-16 02:45 (UTC)

[Fortunate to have them? He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to hearing those words about himself.]

You can't be rational right now. But you don't need to be, [he settles on saying, taking another step closer. With a quick, wary glance at Azula, he reaches out to rest a hand on Lilith's arm.] It's just us.

I've always been someone to be relied on. Without Abel I... [she sighs softly.] feel like a lost child.

Because you need your family.

[Azula rests her cheek against Lilith's, hand still on her hair]

I understand.

Edited 2011-01-16 03:54 (UTC)

You can't be perfect, and you can't be strong alone.

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