{FAILED LOCK}

[bentflame]

Really, the most irritating thing isn't his words. The opinions of others mean absolutely nothing; I'm certainly never lying when I say that. He'd like to think that he can get under my skin, and I'll admit that I've slipped up a couple of times in that regard- but that has been taken care of; it won't happen again. No, the most irritating thing is that he's right.

I doubt that it's fear. It would be characteristic of her, I suppose, to fear me- but for some reason, she doesn't. I also doubt that she's just "waiting to see me fall"- that could easily be done from the sidelines. It's that third theory of his that I've considered before (I hope he doesn't think for one moment that he planted the idea in my head; that I allowed him to create such an... insecurity). That she really, truly hasn't realized yet that I am a monster. At some level, I'm sure she does (why else would she have said...)- but once she starts listening to those other friends of hers; really listening to them...

Ty Lee has always been easily convinced of things.

I am a monster. I always have been. I've never denied it. But I don't know why the idea of her recognizing it and calling me out on it is so... tsk.

It's an inevitability. I shouldn't bother deluding myself into thinking otherwise.

...

That smug detective really does need to be taught a lesson.

Comments

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

What? About his needing a lesson? He's needed one for quite some time; it's not as if I just had a revelation.

[tyki-tock.livejournal.com]

No, no, about all the rest of it.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

The "rest of it" doesn't matter. It wasn't meant to be seen.

And I haven't just figured that out, either.

[tyki-tock.livejournal.com]

It did have a revelatory quality to it.

But there's no need to be concerned, Azula. There is someone for you, as there is for everyone. Even us monsters. If Ty Lee isn't the one, then when she realizes it she will spurn you, that's true. But do you really want a person to love you for less than your totality?

Show her what you are. Make sure that she truly understands, and then you will have no need to be insecure. You will know.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Then you interpreted it wrong. Not surprising, really, considering it was a private entry.

... She's not going to sp-

I don't have insecurities. I used the term originally, but in error.

[tyki-tock.livejournal.com]

I don't believe you, Azula. But do as you like. Your happiness certainly isn't high on my list of things to be concerned about.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Good.