bentflame | Tape Recorder, Part II

OOC: Because I wanted to write up a proper third-person response to the Tynapping stuff. Sorry.

Azula lay on her back on the middle of the bed, turning the tape recorder over and over in her hands. She would not listen to it again. She was being silly and childish, and she was not going to indulge that- no matter what had happened.

Death was not something that bothered Azula. It wasn't simply a matter of being desensitized by war, either- even as a child, death just hadn't affected her the way it did other people. When her cousin Lu Ten had died in battle and her Uncle Iroh had returned home distraught, her only thought had been how weak and cowardly he was being by allowing his emotions get in the way of his duty to his country. Her grandfather Azulon's death had been a good thing, even- because it had allowed her father to become Fire Lord. And when her father died, leaving the throne to her... that would be a good thing, too.
But if Ty Lee had been killed at the hands of Mai... that would have been so much different. She would have been illogical about it. She would have... lost control. She- Princess Azula, who prided herself on her consistent, effortless emotional detachment- would have been broken. Emotionlessness was something that came naturally to her- indeed, to the extent that anything else was unnatural. Still, there were times...
Things that Mai had implied ("She wears no armor. Knives cut. Do the math." ) and things that Ty Lee had said ("Yeah, and have you collect the body.") haunted her. Even though Ty Lee was safe, she couldn't get them out of her mind- because they were true. Of the (relatively few) things that Azula genuinely feared, Ty Lee leaving her was by far the most likely to come true- and for a short time, she had been utterly convinced that it had, in the form of death. Images of how Mai could have done it had come unbidden into her mind, and in droves- things that Mai might have done to get her "revenge". “Put this apple on your head, Ty Lee- I promise I won’t aim too low.”
Then, when she had seen Ty Lee not only alive, but relatively unhurt, she had thought she was going to lose her in another, very different way. They had conspired to bring her here, so that Mai could fight her- had Ty Lee wanted her to lose? How exactly had Mai convinced her? "Just do as I say, Ty Lee, and I promise I'll take care of your little problem- you'll never have to see fire again."
After it was all over, Azula had wanted to find her- to touch her, to talk to her, to make sure that she was real. She had been expecting to have to comfort a terrified, traumatized Ty Lee, seriously injured and in need of a medic, but none of that was necessary. And by the time she had picked herself up from the ground and looked around for her, she was gone.

A few days earlier, Azula had figured out how to erase the results of some of her earlier experimentation with the tape recorder- after all, it wasn't needed, and she didn't know how much it could store. For the most part, it was now completely blank, and ready to be used for whatever purpose was found for it- but there was one thing that she had saved.

Despite her resolve, Azula's finger hovered over the 'play' button momentarily... then she growled in annoyance and set the machine down firmly on the bedside table. No. She didn't need it.

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"And you don't know why?"

"You just seemed so...when you were shaking...I thought you weren't going to stop."

"What do you mean? You thought I wasn't going to stop ever?"

"Well, you were shaking a lot. I got a bit scared."

Azula considered this. "I was..."

She couldn't think of an explanation, really. The truth was that Ty Lee hadn't been that far off when she had called it going into shock.

"...I'm sorry."

She sighed, remembering her conversation with that Lovett woman. "I just want to..."

"You just want to..what?"

Azula kept her head turned away. "I want to-" She stopped suddenly, thinking. Reconsidering. She wasn't sure she wanted to say that.

"... 'Weird' is sort of your word for... unnatural things. Things that you would rather avoid, or ignore. Isn't it?" She didn't sound accusatory; just matter-of-fact.

"I guess you could say that..."

Ty Lee's voice trailed off as if she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted to say.

"So you would rather ignore what I said earlier."

"Um...let's just go with that."

Azula nodded silently, saying nothing.

She supposed that had been a test. She supposed that Ty Lee had failed.

Turning over sto face the other way, Azula suddenly caught sight of the tape recorder sitting on her nightstand. All at once, a wave of sadness swept over her, causing a rather sharp intake of breath.

Ty Lee moved closer, silently. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," she whispered.

"Are you sure?"

"... I wanted you to answer truthfully. You did. I'm fine."

"If you say so, Azula."

She sighed. "You always say that."

"I thought you liked it when I didn't argue with you..."

"You're not 'not arguing'. You're just... mindlessly agreeing with whatever I say." She paused. "You can say what you really think without arguing. And in the long run, it's... easier if you tell the truth about things like this."

"I can??

"... Of course." There certainly wasn't anything wrong with polite disagreement (as long as it was appropriate for the situation). Obviously Azula wasn't going to accept it from just anybody, but from Ty Lee...