{FAILED LOCK TO LILITH}

[bentflame]

... I suppose I could come back and visit sometime, if you're really that bored.

Comments

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

My definition of a human being is more liberal than others.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

What's your definition?

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

A human being is someone who loves, cries, hates, and rejoices.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't want to cry, and I'm still not sure if I want to love.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

But you are capable of it.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I don't want to be!

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

It isn't so terrible.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

It's weak. Father would be--

-- I should be disappointed in myself.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

I don't think you should be.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't understand; you weren't made to be the perfect soldier.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what I was made to be.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

But you're--

... You're emotional.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

I rejected their attempts to turn me into a mindless solider. I was perfect in every other way they asked. I never failed a single test they gave me. I learned things sooner than they expected.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

I was never mindless. But I was perfect in every way that they asked.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

That is one thing they wanted that I refused to give.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

... I was the best.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

You are still every bit as talented as you were then. Perhaps more so.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

... I've gotten weaker in the mind. My emotions have too much of a hold.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

You can always learn to control your emotions.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

That's what I used to do, but now they keep coming back!

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

You're trying to reject them. In order to control them, you need to embrace them.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

[she gets up and starts to pace]

... No. I can't do that. It would be giving up.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

How so?

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Because it's one of the things I've worked against.

[hislostlover.livejournal.com]

Are feelings truly that bad?