bentflame: (hair-twirl)
At this point, I don't care if it's risky-- assassination threats aren't going to keep me from going to the palace spa anymore. There's a reason we have it, and without me, it's sorely underused.

IC quizzes are fun, lalala )

I'm curious-- how much stock do people put in silly "quizzes" like this? It's too much like fortune-telling for my taste.
It's all Father's fault. Being Fire Lord was just like I had always imagined it would be, but then he had to ruin everything. Now? It's all WRONG.

But I'm not insane. I'm not breaking.

... I'm homesick. No matter where I go, I'm always homesick.

That's not even the right word. Pathetic.
[Have a shot of Azula standing in front of her big bathroom mirror, putting on lipstick and using makeup to cover up the dark circles under her eyes. She's just finishing up when the video starts, so this only takes a couple of moments-- after she's done, she steps back and is about to go back into her room... but suddenly she turns back to the mirror, a frown on her face. Peering critically into the mirror, she turns this way and that, examining her figure (mostly her chest) as she does so. Her fingers skim along the the bottom of her shirt, like she's contemplating pulling it off, but at the last moment she decides not to.

Satisfied, she turns on her heel and walks out.]

OOC: Eris told her she didn't look completely perfect. Woe.
[Audio opens with a man (presumably one of Azula's guards) talking:]

-- A big execution. We were only following orders, Fire Lord; the former Fire Lord Ozai knew killing your consort would be a good way to get at you, and we had no choice but to obey him. She cried for you when they strung her up.

[When Azula speaks, there's nothing in her voice but hot fury-- if she feels anything else, she's hiding it well]

If what you're saying is true, then you executed a prisoner without the ruling Fire Lord's consent-- I'm sure I don't need to tell you how illegal that is. I'll be looking into this, and if I find even a shred of truth to this statement of yours, every last one of you will pay! Do you understand me?

[After a humble-sounding "Yes, Fire Lord", the guard exits, and Azula makes a little hmph sound, as if trying to brush it off... then suddenly takes off for the bathroom. There's the muffled sound of vomiting. Lovely.]

OOC: Reference; Ozai is a dick. 8)
[The audio opens with the sound of glass shattering-- Hakuba, she just broke a window in your house in France]

Where is she? WHERE IS SHE?

Gods; the community; whoever it was-- you think you can just get away with this? I'm going to--

I'm not going to allow--

[Several loud thumps, then the sound of her bumping into something and another shatter of glass]

You have NO RIGHT!

[She suddenly stops shouting(/being violent), and the only sound is her heavy, tearful, almost panicky-sounding breathing, a la her final scene in the canon finale I really need to stop describing things like "lol like in the finale" but I am way too lazy...

... unlike in the finale, however, she's at least trying
not to cry here-- a fact that makes her sound like she's whimpering more than anything else, something that she probably was NOT going for]



[Aaaaand she turns the audio off suddenly, because while she's fine with people hearing "angry", "indignant", and "Oh my God Azula may kill again", she does not want the comm at large to hear "upset"]
[More paper rustling sounds; she's getting ready to practice writing English again]

Give me a--

[A pause, then there's the sound of of pad of paper being shut and roughly shoved away]

Forget it.

I want to go home. I mi--


Things are much simpler once you've figured out exactly what to do, aren't they?
My sixteenth birthday is in about two and a half months. On my world, most people of royal and noble class marry when they're that age, and most of those marriages are arranged at least a year or so before that. As it stands, I'm already falling behind everyone else; no matter how much parents may want their son to marry the Fire Lord, they're not going to wait around forever. Whenever I do go back, I'll be stuck with someone that was unwanted by all the others for some reason-- because his family has a shameful history, or because he's a pervert, or because he's thirty years older than me. The Fire Lord will be given the last pick.

Things aren't supposed to be this backwards.

OOC: Marginally related to this.
Well. This is certainly an interesting experience.

"Fire L--" excuse me, "Phoenix King" Ozai, I want to talk to you again about why you're after me. Maybe this time you'll say something that actually makes sense.

... And is it true that people are being taken off their worlds to die?

[When the audio switches on, the first thing to be heard is Azula's ragged and shaky breathing-- she still sounds upset and agitated, but at least she isn't audibly crying anymore]

Dark. Give me back my feather. I'm leaving. You can't keep me here; you can't--

It's not your decision. I'm going back there and I want all of you to leave me ALONE!

[So if I had a video of one of the times that she broke down crying during the finale I'd totally embed it here, but I don't, so you'll just have to use your imaginations. She is all-out sobbing, pretty hysterically, and there's a thumping sound as she bumps into something-- the wall, by the sound of it-- and just... slides to the floor. The crying continues, and when the audio cuts out a good five minutes later, she still hasn't shown any signs of stopping.

Folks, this is what happens when pretty much your entire life is shattered, and your first defense mechanism is to COMPLETELY ISOLATE YOURSELF. Mm-hm. PSA, right here. Oh God it's 1AM why am I even online.]

I don't know why these persistent posts about families and parents annoy me so much. It's not like I'm jealous. Or maybe I am; I wouldn't know. I don't tend to self-analyze-- it's pointless. So few people realize that when you start to feel something stupid or messy, the best thing to do is to just ignore it, especially if it's about something that can't be changed or helped. I can really only think of one example of when paying attention to "feelings" has paid off, but we're not going to talk about that. It's been rehashed far too much here; I think it's time to discuss something new.

I could just go back to the Fire Nation. I don't know why I haven't yet. I say it's because I want to be careful and cautious, but really, I have no doubt that I could escape again if he is just trying to trick me-- which he isn't. And everything was going perfectly during my first week as Fire Lord; it was only after I found out he had turned against me that it started to go bad. If he does turn back again, I'm going to be very mad at myself for wasting this time I could have had.

I'll go back if I get kicked out. Though really, I've been considering leaving before that can happen; that'll make things less complicated. I was irritated when Kaito temporarily lost his memories of this place, and I don't even like Kaito. It's ridiculous (not to mention embarrassing) how much of an aversion I have to being left alone and abandoned. It's something that I really need to get over-- preferably sooner rather than later, because you don't just let random people stay in your house for undetermined periods of time. Sooner or later she'll be looking for an excuse to get rid of me, if she isn't already-- even though I stocked her cabinets with excellent Fire Nation tea. What would you call that, a bribe? I don't know.

At least I have Father; that's really all that matters. Who cares if he probably only supports me because he's been brainwashed? I certainly don't. It's the end that matters, not the means.

I'm very good at convincing myself of things. It's one of my many strengths.

[Azula is sitting in bed, an open book in her lap and Fire Nation silk sheets wrapped around herself, tucked up around her shoulders]

Yesterday was so dramatic. I felt lonely and homesick and miserable and all sorts of things-- but not insane, thank you very much-- which is ridiculous, especially on the first point. I don't mind being disliked by the majority of you; why would I be lonely? Perhaps a psychologist could weigh in on this. Dr. Lecter, what do you think? Or are you too busy with your extracurricular activities to have an opinion?

[She leans back against the pillows, tucking the remains of her bangs behind her ears (it looks like they've been evened out a bit)]

Eris, I know you did something. You're always doing something. And this is why I hate all you gods-- to prevent things like this from happening again I really need to retaliate, but if I do than I'll almost certainly die. It's a no-win situation.

I hate not winning.

[Now she sounds more flippant; teasing, even]

Maybe I'll try anyway. That's another good thing about not having anybody care what happens to you-- you're allowed to be reckless.

[Directly after this conversation, the communicator book drops to the floor with a heavy thud]

I don't--

[She's speaking aloud to the dark, empty room, not realizing that the thing is still recording]

He sent a-- he--

[Azula's breathing quickens; becomes much more shaky and agitated-- it doesn't really sound like she's crying, but she's definitely upset about something]

[Her next word comes out as an almost inaudible growl] ... No.


They said I have it. I can't--

I'm the success; the one that matters. I'm important to you. You wouldn't allow me to die.

[The audio turns on with a clunk-- Azula dropped the communicator book by accident, and it started recording when it hit the ground]


[Her breathing is labored and unsteady, and she's slowly but steadily crawling across the ground-- she had been walking until vertigo and a massive headache made that impossible]

Just get away from me; I don't want you touching me, you disgusting little worm. Just LEAVE ME ALONE!

I am now in my normal state, and unaffected by any viruses. I am at home where I belong-- and I won't be leaving again. Ever.

OOC: Reference-- she, like Larsa, has been brainwashed by Ozai using Dai Li technology.
I won't be staying here for very long. I have a country to run, after all, and my father can't keep me from that.


To any doctors on the community-- has your world developed any methods for treating burns that my world (or Larsa Solidor's word, for that matter) might not be familiar with? I can take care of it myself, of course, but I'd like to do it as quickly and efficiently as possible.
I'm considering asking Ty Lee to marry me. Rufus, what do you think?

OOC: Reference. And she's not really serious. OR IS SHE. No, she's not.



September 2011

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